It was a dark and stormy night somewhere in Asia, but not here in Chicago. The die had been cast: Propaganda Unlimited was scheduled to make its grand comeback that very night, the moment Constantine got around to uploading the file to the labs of the Strangeways Asylum BBS. The moment huddled masses across the globe had waited for (Since America won't take your poor and huddled masses, we at PU will at least entertain them) had nearly arrived.

When I returned to the PU HQ after work, I prepared to pick up the new issue: to no avail. The Strangeways Asylum was offline. Nex, the console sysop, was on vacation. No explanation, no sane rationale for why the BBS was offline. Could it have been one of our assorted groups of enemies? Could it have simply been Milo, unhappy about his portrayal in the Dystropia/Fear And Loathing crossover? Or maybe it was Bill Gates, whose reasons I chose not to contemplate? I didn't know. But one thing was for sure: PU's return was delayed, and there would be hell to pay for this. (Or, if they were broke, we might be able to hit up Heaven for a few bucks)

A call the next morning from Nex, long distance from his Skydiving Convention, confirmed that foul play must have taken place, and not his early return as I had hoped. So if PU was to rise again, I was going to have to make the treacherous hour-long journey into the belly of the beast, also known as Nex's house, where the most feared of all demons awaited: His Mother.

After obtaining permission to do so, I began my journey. It required a train ride, getting on another train, and then a walk. The first train ride was simple enough. The second train was slow in arriving, and crowded upon arrival. Only after I sat down did I realize that the train was populated with demons, one of which was eating fried chicken. Damn. None of the real people sitting nearby seemed to realize that hellspawn were riding this train with them. How typical of humans. I disguised myself as a human, and hoped the hellspawn wouldn't notice me, and it worked. I got off the train at the end of the line and began the treacherous walk to Nex's house. The sounds of the Sisters of Mercy emanating from my Walkman warded off any evil, and soon I was there.

At this point in the story, an orphaned child enters. This child is only here to generate sympathy and compassion in the reader. The child's parents were killed in a tragic origami accident. After seeing a play in which a central character was killed by origami (coincidentally, this was a play in which I played a small role, making me partially responsible for their deaths), they believed that it couldn't happen to them. And they suffered because of it.

I had been instructed to knock on the back door to alert Nex's mother to my arrival, and though it may have appeared to an untrained eye that I was lost because I roamed through several alleyways trying to find the right house, I was actually shaking off a car that had been trailing me, so THERE. Nex's mother opened the door, and greeted me. Since she has attempted to murder me in the past after I gave her wrong directions to a high school [coincidentally, the same high school outside which I waited for the bus told about in Moving Between Places Part One, and also the same high school where I acted in a play that got me a role in the play in which the character was killed my origami, making Nex and his mother also partially responsible for the deaths of the child's parents, and bringing parts One and Two of this serial neatly full circle], I was a bit nervous. I walked into Nex's room, which had recently been cleaned, which seemed VERY suspicious. Nex's mother professed not to know what could have happened as I quizzed her about power outages and the like. Her story had no holes in it that I could find.....until she slipped up by changing the topic to how messy "Tommy" was. She then waved a knife at me, and as I was about to assume a protective stance, she told me that she had found it in Nex's room, slightly singed. Ah-Ha! A Murder plot, perhaps? Or computer sabotage? Then she mentioned how several things had been caught up in the vacuum cleaner bag - and I had my answer. She had been hired by one of our enemies to disconnect the computer's power supply briefly, just briefly enough to knock the BBS offline. I thanked her, and got her to leave. I slipped over to the power supply, made sure it was okay, and turned on the computer, loaded up Renegade, and my task was complete. After calling a friend to remote-test the BBS, all was ready, and not trusting fate to work in our favor, I called Constantine and had him upload the new issue of PU right then and there. And all was done - the BBS was safe. After messing up Nex's legions of Magic [tm] cards, I quickly left, Nex's mother's plot foiled. And I was gone.

To add a socially responsible side to this tfile, I strolled into the library, and got dirty looks when I wandered over towards the childrens' section, so I went into the more "mature" section of the library, and was summarily bored out of my mind, and since most of the people THERE seemed to be glaring at me, I left. The walk into the library had one positive side-effect, though - I found a free magazine called the "Illinois Entertainer" that had Tori Amos on the cover, and stories about the Mekons and the Church inside. (And it was a good interview, find it if you can)

The forces of evil, having been defeated, didn't interfere with my train ride home. And I was safe, and Propaganda Unlimited was safe to publish again another day.

[As always, send letters to PU staffers on any of our official sites, or to our official box at PULETTERS@AOL.COM. We want to hear from ya. You never write, you know. Your mother is worried sick about you. And do you care? No, no, you're too busy off galavanting all over town with that brazen hussy! Don't "oh, dad" me! We know what's best for--
::BANG::
Sorry. On to the letters.]

The PeNiS members seemed to be very excited about "the file pointz we'll get for this guy!!!", and after a long journey, the vehicle slowed down. The teenagers seemed to agree that they had finished the "upload", and were home. We stood in front of a seedy looking place identified as "THe CHeaP MoTeL 16.8!" The members of PeNiS told me to go inside. I cheerfully strolled in, sidled up to the bar, and ordered a Mango Madness Cocktail. The entire bar quieted, and stared at me. Were they offended by my day-glo boxer shorts? Had I said something wrong? I turned to ask the nearest PeNiS member, but was instead confronted by a large man. A PeNiS member stepped forward.