4-20-01
"Wipe that grin off your face. You look guilty." I continue to smile.

For some odd reason I can not get rid of the shit-ass grin on my face. I'm walking around with the biggest smile like a dumbass and it just won't leave me. Things are funny today, which is a big change from the rest of the week when things were not funny and quite annoying and I would have preferred to stay in my room all week and brood. I do that really well. But today has been spectacular! Shit ass grins to all!

Someone actually told to me to "wipe that grin off of your face". The only reason I find that comical is that a few minutes before that I was wondering when a person would tell me to "wipe that shit ass grin off of your face."

Pete, a writer at weepmag, and a couple friends of mine visited me for lunch today before they continued on to Memphis. It was what I really needed. One, this cheered me up (and got me out of that funk I've been in since Sunday that I recently talked about). Two, now I want to go on a road trip. Someone give me a car. I'll be unemployed and graduated soon. I have the time.

I guess Bill actually did go to Quebec since I haven't heard from him in a few days. I hope he does not punch a police officer and stab a horse. Those Mounties might hang him for that. Even though Bill is not the type of guy to stab a horse or punch a person in the face, I've never actually seen him protest. If he really gets into it he may get in some sort of trance, punch a police officer, stab a horse, kick G. W. Bush in the groin, pull his pants down, and dance.

At least people will be dancing. Dancing may stop that whole trade thing.

OLD DRUNK PEOPLE
Today at work (with my shit-ass grin intact) I had a blast. We had an opening at the Krannert Art Museum where a bunch of old rich people pay money to hang out at the museum when we are not usually open. My job was not to allow people to leave a certain room with food or alcohol. This old guy came up to the door, and I stopped him, like I should have. He then looked at me, and said, "That's my wife over there. Can I talk to her, or can you get her to come over here." I said, no problem and went to get her. I tapped her on the shoulder, she turned, and I said, "your husband needs to talk to you." The entire time the old guy is just standing in the door way looking at his wife. The wife waves hello, and continues to look at art. The old guy was left standing there for a few minutes. And all I could think of was, man, that old guy looks so cute standing there, and I started to chuckle under my breath. My grin grew wider.

Someone let the old people have too much to drink because a bunch of crazy mustache drunk old guys were singing along with the piano guy. Then dancing started, and I knew I lost control of this situation. So I snuck in and ate some of the food that was laying out. I like free strawberries.

Just in case people did not understand, I did like the Sentry comic book (look at yesterday fools) and thought it was an amazing story. I almost did not buy it because it sounded a little cheesy, but Paul Jenkins can write comics if you know what I mean. Hell, have any of you read Inhumans? Or his stuff on Spider-man lately? Good shit. Same with the Sentry. And did I feel cheated over the hoax? Hell no! I found it comical, and quite amusing. Hell, the guy Wizard killed (the artist of the original 60s version) never even existed. Props to them is what I say. And, the final word is, I got to read a good comic book, which most of the crap comics I read are not.
10:32PM

4-19-01
I'm feeling a little gassy today. Apologies to those around me.

Some entertaining news - "Even Rugby Has Standards: Some players try to intimidate opponents by grabbing their genitals during tackles, but Australia's National Rugby League concluded in March that West Tigers' player John Hopoate went beyond that and routinely stuck his finger in opponents' annuses. The league suspended him for 12 weeks, but Hopoate resigned, and several days later was back in the news announcing he would seek legal action against the New Zealand Cancer Society for using his photo in ads to publicize the value of prostate exams." Chuck Sheperd's News of the Weird.

Sometimes I feel like Calvin too often in a day.

I've found whenever I'm stressed I just read a few comic strips of Calvin and Hobbes and it seems to put my mind at ease. Yippee for me.

So the government cut interest rates yesterday. I haven't seen any money kicked back to me, so I don't understand what the big deal is.

For those of you who read comic books, have you heard about the The Sentry? It was a scam. Marvel released the book saying it was created by Stan Lee, the creator of some of the most popular Marvel characters. In reality they were able to get Wizard Magazine involved saying the artist has recently passed away, and that someone dropped off the original drawings and story to the Paul Jenkins, the guy who wrote the Sentry comic book now. But in reality it was all made up. It was a hoax. I enjoyed the story though. Feel free to read more here.
1:35 PM

4-18-01
Brain working 50% today, a much needed improvement from yesterday.

Happy Hash Wednesday everyone. To celebrate it someone here put a replica of weed in the hands of the Alma Mater statue. Those kooky crazy U of I students.

To celebrate Hash Wednesday I will continue to walk around the quad with my head slightly lowered, attend my classes, work, head home, do some homework or just end up watching tv. As I usually do on Wednesdays.

The only problem with work is when you have something to think about you end up thinking about it for the entire time because there is no other stimulus around you due to the fact that most of the art can be annoying and you have seen it for over two years. You focus on your thing that you don't really want to think about but think about it anyways but you know thinking about it will not produce any new solutions from your thoughts because they are only thoughts and you are stuck in a room with art you have been watching for the last five hours so you continue to think.

If I hear another joke about how the fire extinguisher is art, and the person says some witty thing that she/he learned in his art history 101 class, I might punch them.
12:30 PM

4-17-01
My nose was cold when I woke up this morning.

My eyes are my enemies today.

If anyone knows how to sue the weather for breaking the contract of being fucking cold in April please let me know.

My comment a few weeks ago about the weather getting its act together has been stricken from the record.

12 Hour Excursion
I left Lisle, my hometown at 5:00 PM yesterday to begin my trip back to school, but first Pick up a few friends, get something to eat and then off to a the Arab Strap show first. (simple review Arab Strap=good. The Good Life=okay. Fat guy from American Movie=Amazing.) Drop my friends off, and then head back to Champaign. Now, I understand I was tired. Sleep was a special commodity not sold in my general area this past weekend. A few things happened from this lack of sleep.

First, I stopped at a green light, and blew a red one not on purpose. The only problem was that a cop happened to be blowing the red light at the same time. So I'm pulled over, and I explain that I was lost trying to get home, and luckily the cop let me go. Considering $75 is hard to find in my line of work. After this I would assume I should just sleep at home and drive down nice and early Tuesday morning. Instead I drove on.

I really do not remember most of the car ride. Route 57 is a complete blur. I knew I was driving and passing trucks, and I yelled a lot. That kept me moving and awake. Coherent thoughts were a little tough. About 45 minutes away I hit something that I can only believe to be snow on the road, only it did not look like snow or feel like snow. My car really did not care what it was since it almost took me off the road three times when I hit the substance we are calling "snow". For the remainder of the trip cars were laying in the ditch all around me.

I finally pull in to my house around 5:00 AM (see 12 hours, get it?). I threw my stuff in my room and fell asleep in the clothes I was wearing. Woke up around 9:00, left for school and work (the entire time I was guarding, not one visitor), and finally got back home a few hours ago before this was written.

I'm still tired.
10:02PM

4-16-01
Yesterday I was called a shit head. A first for the man that I am.

Due to my comments on Axis last week, I decided to play Risk last night, another form of world domination that takes place in your own living room. This is where I was called a shit head by one of my friend's dad. I went 1 for 2 during the evening. Our alliance was defeated when I broke it to smite the other one. (there is definitely not enough smiting done by me on a daily basis)

There are tentative plans for me heading to Boston in June...the Quebec thing is canceled for me. Sorry Canada. We can rock some other time.

To answer the question I have been asked at least 20 times this past weekend, no I do not have a job lined up for me after college. No, I will not be teaching, even though I will have an elementary education degree. I will get A job, and get SOME money, and move out some day. Thanks for asking.

I still do not get girls.

Arab Strap and The Good Life tonight! Then back to school. That does not get a "!".
4:10AM

"There were kids with backpacks, but it wasn't school! Crazy." Heiden
The only reason I'm quoting this is that it made me laugh out loud when I read Heiden's review of the Hey Mercedes show from last weekend. You can see him here too.

It is also nice to see Champainful complaining about Champaign again. I was growing worried that they actually like the place. Whew.

If anyone needs a ride to Champaign today (or tomorrow if you are one of those annoying people) around 1 or 2 in the morning, let me know. Because that is when I'm leaving.
3:24PM

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