3-13-02
This week my power went out for a few hours. I got home from work and created all these grandiose plans, but then...BSHEW. Lights out.

So unable to do my normal activities (staring into the empty abyss of the television screen, reading which entails an early nap, wasting time on the computer, add other time filling activity) because it was so dark. I found my flashlight and walked around making scary shadows all over the apartment. I of course imagined the flashlight was a light saber in my hands. I mean, who wouldn't? Lying on the floor I started to turn the flashlight on and off aiming at the ceiling. Then I noticed that the guy across the street was staring into my window so I turned the flashlight off and took a walk.

Then I fell asleep listening to some music reading by flashlight.

Last year I participated in the NCAA tournament (just a NCAA pool, not the games, I'm not 'that' good at basketball, some would say I'm even bad). I achieved second place but won the money because the first place guy was just in it for fun. He of course will be putting money down this year. I also received a fancy third place in my father's work pool. Third place receives a hardy handshake and "well done". Last year I picked a team. I put my trust in that team and they let me down, even though I was still able to put up a good show (2nd and 3rd is nothing to laugh at). That is why I am telling everyone who is putting $5, $10, $15, and more into an office pool not to pick Oklahoma State. They will break your heart. Screw you Oklahoma State!

BSHEW...lights out folks, goodnight.

3-08-02
On most occasions I don't remember my dreams. If I wake up with the realization that I did dream, in about 30 seconds the theme and idea of my imaginative mind has already left me. That is why when I woke up today, continuously hitting the snooze button, I was surprised to find myself remembering two dreams I had throughout the evening.

The first dream was just my sub-consciousness reminding myself to stop wasting time on some thoughts and ideas that I've been having. I'm not going to go into detail concerning this because I know that I've been wasting too much time with this thought already. If it's never going to happen, why waste the time? I will say this though, it is the first dream where a sentence stated by someone in the dream actually woke me up because it hit so close to home (which of course made me think about the issue defeating the purpose of the dream).

The other dream had less to do with any application to my life. At first I'm standing around in my apartment. I raise my arm and I notice I have a large hole in my jacket near my armpit. This is a fairly new jacket so I'm upset. I take my jacket off, my hoody has no hole, but my t-shirt has a hole in the same area. I resign myself to changing shirts. I walk into my bedroom and then the images repeat till I wake up.

I checked, my jacket is just fine.

3-06-02
The first two words that appeared in my mind this morning were "nuclear" and "balloon". Or it might have been one word, "nuclear-balloon". This made me think of an actual nuclear-balloon with large pointy teeth floating around causing havoc. Think about it (I'm no physicist here, so bare with me).

People love balloons. Balloons are placed at most social gatherings. A helium filled balloon can entertain people of all ages in varying degrees. Sometimes a balloon can be attached to a string allowing you to swing them towards your friends in the Spectacular Balloon Extravaganza Match! My father even got into the fun of balloons. At one point I had a birthday party in the basement of McDonalds. A dream come true for children, especially children who have small-time dreams. This was the first time I ever remember someone sucking the helium out of a balloon, and of course it was my father. Funny voices = me laughing (sucking the helium out of the tank is not as funny because the balloon never comes into play, let alone missing out on the noise a balloon makes deflating). Case in point, people like balloons, therefore more balloons should be involved in our everyday lives. But if you create a balloon with the word nuclear attached to it, you are entering a whole other realm of possibilities.

Nuclear-balloons would be able to power an entire city, and it would only produce a little amount of waste. This waste is just the size of the balloon itself, and once deflated it can fit into any garbage receptacle, if that garbage receptacle is not already over loaded. If you attached a nuclear-balloon to a person's arm, he/she would actually be able to float away. Not fly (I haven't figured out this one yet), let's be serious here. Of course there is always a chance for mistake, but then again how cool would it be get some super power from a nuclear balloon. Something like being able to inflate yourself to become the indestructible Balloon Boy or Balloon Girl. Don't even get me started with rubbing a nuclear-balloon in your hair.

There of course would be a warning for small children so that they do not eat the nuclear-balloon. Ingesting a nuclear-balloon would cause a more serious problem than just swallowing a normal balloon. The nuclear-balloon would also be limited to children ages 5 to 60. I wouldn't feel right, and neither would the manufactures at The Nuclear-Balloons Factory, concerning any possible harm coming to children.

Other news:
The last time I congratulated the weather for warming up it decided to, in a metaphysical kind of way, kick my groin. So until I truly believe that the weather is done fucking around, I will keep my praise to myself, even though it is a beautiful day outside (at least I think it is still beautiful outside, I do work in an office mind you).

3-04-02
I work in a skyscraper on the fifth floor. There is a little walkway that allows you to observe what is below as you meander across to reach the elevators to relative freedom. Today there was a little bird perched atop a light sitting right next to the walkway inside of the building. I looked at it and asked, "What are you doing there?" The bird looked at me and flew away. Which was the right response since that is what I wanted to do. Fly away.

But instead I went back to work to locate and copy some credit reports. Wee. Fun.

It's been a strange weekend. I'm not quite sure if what I saw truly existed / happened / occurred / created by me / imagined / evolved but sometimes the simplest movements / actions / thoughts / gesture / noise can send my mind rolling.

It snowed again this weekend up here in the fine city of Chicago. I heard that it snowed in other places but I have not been there so I have no proof, but luckily I am not talking about those places. After a movie I spent a good hour walking with friends through very large snowflakes. Once we made it to the middle of a park I just stood there watching the snow and how the snow looked on the trees and houses. I went home, made some hot chocolate, and watched the snow fall through my window with some colored lights on. It made me smile.

Then it was cold. The bitter kind of cold. The cold that makes you lose the feeling in your jaw and have your glasses feel like they are freezing to your face after a minute outside. That does not make me smile. Well, it might, but since I couldn't feel my jaw I can't quite say what my mouth was doing from 7:50 - 8:30 am this morning.

3-01-02
I just spilled a glass of water on some important files. Looking around I wiped up the extra water that the papers did not absorb. Then I thought about how the pieces of paper might have a small universe inside of them and I just caused a huge dramatic flood. The people of that universe are asking what they did to deserve this kind of tragedy. All I can really say is that I'm a klutz. But I gave a very convincing head drop and shrug to appease their minds.

I am a kind and merciful god.