2-28-02
I was just remembering a day back in college when I was roaming around with a friend. We came to the conclusion that we should not go to our 8 o'clock class and instead get hot chocolate (usually whenever hot chocolate gets mentioned I will join). Then around 9 we come to the grand conclusion that we should be bowling at this very moment and miss our 9 o'clock class. Problem. The bowling alley does not open till 11. We sit around and then decide we will not go to our 11 o'clock class because skipping bowling once we made the attempt to go bowling would be a damn shame. And shame hates to be damned. We go bowling at 11. I'm not really sure how the rest of the day goes, but I think I got some pie later.

I'm only talking about bowling so much because I understand that if I did play basketball or go bowling this weekend (as I was able to fool myself into believing earlier this week) I would be considered a doofus (and in reality be one) since my shoulder has not fully repaired itself. Therefore I have at least another week till I can go bowling or play basketball. I think right now damn is getting a whole bucket load of shame.

2-27-02
It is time for muffins!

As my alarm went off this morning I came to the conclusion that I was not going to move for a long time. I shut the alarm off, turned on my side and resigned myself to being late to work. All I wanted to do was sit in my bed, maybe have my roommate move the tv and vcr into my room and watch Rushmore and The Big Lebowski all day. But my roommate wasn't going to wake up for a couple of hours, and odds are he would tell me to screw off if I did ask. So I finally decided to move. Taking my time I prepared for work. No one really pays attention to me at work so my arrival should not be worried over much. But then the strangest thing happened. First the bus was there right away. Then the bus hardly made any stops. Then the train came right away. So this brings me to 10 minutes early to work. I couldn't have planned it any better. Except I really wanted to be late, so I bought a muffin.

"Fuck it, let's go bowling."

Oh yeah, it will be a few more weeks till I can.

To the man who got out of his car to yell at another car blocking an intersection at 8:00 in the morning. Chill brother. Settle...focus. Whatever it is you have to do is not that important. Tapping on the person's window will not cause the car in front of him or behind him to move allowing you to leave that intersection. I understand you might have just got off of work or maybe even late for work as I was, but please sir. Just settle, and focus.

To the man who hung up on me. First of all you are the phone company I am already with and you are calling me to change whatever plan it is that I have even though I do not make those decisions. My roommate is in charge of the phone. I told you that from the beginning, but still you persisted on giving me your written our performance. When I tell you again that I don't even know what plan we have YOU have the audacity to hang up on me. Well, I piss on you. I will even piss on the phone you make those annoying phone calls (especially since you are the second one I received in less than an hour). So there you go. How does it feel to have piss all over your ear?

I don't even have to go to the bathroom.

2-26-02
Oh joy. I have just been informed that my job will at least last for two more weeks. Doing some quick math I was able to figure out that I won't be living in my closet due to the fact that someone else would have to pay my rent and live in my room. Luckily the closet is very large, and if forced there I could live quite comfortably. As I have said already, I could hide dead people way back there. That is, if I had any dead people, which I don't.

Another bonus. The only person who really checks up on me at work is going to be gone for three weeks. That means no matter what happens my screw off time will increase, and since that time increases the job may stay just a bit longer.

I'm currently at work, which is a strange feeling since my brain usually crawls down my throat and hangs in my stomach while I'm at work. My brain usually picks up ideas on ways I can eat better but screws up the message to me forcing me to do shots of Jagermeister on the weekends, especially when I didn't plan on doing shots. But today my mind seems quite active. For example, it is supposed to be very cold tomorrow so I will wear a sweater. Usually these thoughts don't occur until my body yells at me after the first step outside, but I'm late for work so I trudge on. Six Feet Under starts a new season on Sunday (HBO at 8 PM Central Time). I should tape it. That also means I should purchase a blank tape.

Sometimes my brain amazes me. Most of the other times it is just there to amuse me. And those other times it is there to make me frighten that I can turn it off so mightily. Zzzzzz.

2-25-02
Everyone at work was in a shirt and tie today. And around 3:30 everyone left the building. It was only me and about two other people. I was confused but didn't ask too many questions. Instead I danced in my chair.

2-24-02
We got our friend a giant stuff monkey for his birthday. It came to me because I imagined him riding the train home at 4 in the morning either the monkey cradled in his arms or sitting next to him. The monkey would look very content.

An easy way to notice me tomorrow morning during the commute will be by the shiny new Chicago Bears button on my bag.

I would rate my shoulder to be at 80% with a + or - of 5%. Really the only things I can't do is push, pull, or pick up really heavy things, or dry the exact middle of my back after a shower.

New comic pick up day! This morning I woke up and drove my friend to work. After that I decided that I was going to pick up my new comics from my Grandmother (my cousin gets his and my own comics together, drops them off at my Grandmother for me to pick them up. It is very similar to a little drug trafficking but that is neither here nor there). Sometimes I can be like a small child excited about Christmas when I get my comics. Flipping through them. Rating the comics from least to favorite so that when I read the last one I am filled with over whelming joy. And I was just informed that Sam Keith, of Maxx fame, is writing and drawing a new comic. Excitement. This website has only one tidbit of info on Sam Keith. "Sam Keith is a guy who lives in California."

2-20-02
After a few days of rest and relaxation I returned to work. I felt missing one day of work for a dislocated shoulder is fine. I mean football players miss a few weeks with the same injury.

The realization that I won't be able to play basketball this week (or more along the lines that I shouldn't play basketball for a couple of weeks) hit me. Then the soft comfort of bowling entered my head and I felt everything would be okay. Until I realized that I couldn't go bowling either. I guess I could perfect my left-handed bowling style.

To answer the most asked question, yes my shoulder is doing just fine. The injury (besides the intense 3 hours of pain I felt) was not as bad as the words "dislocated" makes it sound. Recovery is quite quick. I have most of my motion back. No I can't pick up a car yet. No, you can't have my cookie. It is my last one. Fine have half. And yes, I have taken a break from learning how to fly.

It was my friend Marc's b-day yesterday. He said he would fight the wall that kicked my ass, but I was able to talk him out of it. He turned the same age I turned just a few days ago. He is a good man, and if I had kids. I would let him watch them. He would protect them because he is such a good fighter. And he knows monkeys.

2-18-02
Well, at least I got a full nights rest.

Fun times playing basketball! In 22 years of my life I did not have a serious injury. Sure I had the scrapes, scars, random head bleeding, cut hands, fingers and all that other jazz one gets when they are young running around. Hell, I survived a car accident at the ripe age of 2 when my Great Grandmother was holding me in her lap and acting as a seat belt for myself. I was the only one to exit that without any injury what so ever.

But in the span of one year and four months I have been able to give myself two serious injuries. The wonderful broken ankle back in Nov. 2000, and what happened last night. This is what happens when one takes on a wall. I still think that wall suckered punched me, but alas. I dislocated my right shoulder last night when my shoulder met the wall playing basketball. First thing I thought of was asking for a sub, except the pain hit me and I went to the ground. Second thought, oh shit, I have no health insurance.

I'm not sure what hurts more than a dislocated shoulder. I know there are things, but I have never experienced anything worse than this. It was a constant sharp pain, and every once in a while the pain would just increase. Simple movements as sitting and getting up caused the desire to scream. It sucked. The pain was going away, but then they moved me again for x-rays. But then I got so many drugs. Three pain killers, an iv, and something to make me drowsy. Sleep, which is good because I heard popping a shoulder back in place is not like laying with a girl snuggling up to you watching a movie. It would be more like, well, popping a shoulder back in place. At least I was asleep.

When I woke up I asked if they have already popped it back in place. Thank god. So now I'm drugged up, sleepy, with a shoulder unable to work. I threw up when I got home, and then passed out. Woke up 10 hours later. Feeling much better. Except the fact they left those sticky things on my stomach to measure my heart and breathing.

So I would like to thank the friends who stayed with me and helped answer questions when I was in too much pain to talk. And guys, you could have played four on four if you left me on the sidelines.

2-17-02
It is six in the morning and I have been up for two hours already. This has been happening the last five days, my lack of ability to sleep. I guess this means I have some things on my mind, but for the life of me I can't figure them out.

There seems to be some form of tension in my chest, my arms, and even in my head some times. Like all I want to do is scream, but I don't. I need to find a way to relax. Get what ever it is off of my mind and just be. I know I get into moods, and it appears to occur in a cyclical style. But it is just so annoying because there is this feeling of helplessness since I get into these moods and I just need to wait them out.

I don't even really know what I'm trying to say here. Guess I'll try and get some sleep.