11-30-01
Ever since my funds have entered a single digit I have become paranoid about wasting my money. A sure example of this is every time I pass my car I rejoice that I do not have a ticket since I have accumulated a nice collection since my move up here. That is why this morning I woke up early (early for an unemployed shmuck like myself) to move my car so that they can clean the streets around my neighborhood. I like clean streets and so should you. It keeps the children safe. Anyway, I woke up stumbled down the street found my car and rejoiced again for not having a ticket (little victories... little victories), but then realized that I didn't have to move my car. It was only this one certain block, not the entire street. I felt cheated. I moved my car out of spite.

I bought ice cream yesterday. Vanilla. Nothing surprising about that, the vanilla part. Me purchasing ice cream with no money is quite surprising.

I just spent the last 10 minutes trying to come up with something clever about searching for a job. Should have been looking instead. Damn.

Hey it's the weekend. I can hang out with my working friends now!

11-29-01
How can I afford to go bowling when I can barely afford the food I have been putting in my mouth?

Okay, sometimes I'm an idiot. Other times I'm just plain stoopud. I have no problem admitting this. For instance, last night. I think I reached a plateau of ignorance. My opening was there and all I did was sit, stare, and looked concerned (a trait I have perfected throughout the years). The rest of the evening I sat there trying to come up with something to say but instead I continued my mindless stare. Someday my brain will quiet down and become optimistic and I won't have to worry about blowing it so much.

I'm going to work on a puzzle today. There is something strange about working on a puzzle. You are not accomplishing anything of real importance, then again what I do on an average day is not of any real importance, but you are still working towards a goal. My Grandmother (Grandma Kush as the old school kids called here even though that is not even a close representation of how her last name looks) has been doing them for years. Every Christmas we purchase her a puzzle and later that year we would stop by and she would be working on them. But I digress. Puzzles are weird because all you are doing is thinking about is where does this little glob of cardboard with a certain arraignment of colors fit compared to the rest of the cardboard colored pieces. Mindless work, but relaxing work. I remember my family worked on the Where's Waldo puzzle for 3 months. It was the one with the multiple Waldo's all walking around looking busy and such. We would walk into the dining room put a piece in, stand around for 10-15 minutes, find another piece and walk away. It was the best puzzle ever!

11-27-01
I've been so busy today. I would like to commend me on the great work I have been doing. (I got management appeal right here baby!)

I got a haircut since it was due over a month ago (the late charges are a bitch!). Since it has been cut nobody has told me I look like Harry Potter. There goes my 15 minutes of fame.

The fantasy page has been updated but there is no need to check it. I lost again keeping me in firm grasp of 12 of 12.

Today is such a comic book reading day. I picked up a bunch of new comics varying from Powers to Ultimate Spider-Man to Bone during Turkey weekend and I haven't gotten around to reading them. I'm going to go under a blanket, read them, make some hot chocolate, and drink it. All around a good day.

11-26-01
Well the long weekend is over and it was really nice seeing all the people who usually live hours away. Thanks for catching a drink with me and letting me explain myself. It's funny because while they are gone you really don't understand how much you miss them. It isn't till they come back and you realize that this friend is they guy you would talk about these things with, or how you could still find the both of you saying the same thing at the same time as you used to do as a child. And the best part is how they challenge you with out making it seem to be a real challenge. Just act. So simple. Mostly I would like to say thanks to all of you out there. So there. Thanks.

Okay...now that the sentimental crap is done we can move onto other important issues such as the Game Cube is out and I still do not own one. This is not fair. Someone should purchase the Game Cube for me. I will play it a lot, and allow you to play it with me, if you so desire. I will let you win at Madden Football, but make it close so that it looks like you have skills (even though I could dominate). We could play Monkey Ball together and not really care who wins but just be happy that we watch a bunch of monkeys in plastic balls go through a bunch of mazes (monkeys in plastic balls...genius). I will buy the games. I will even buy the extra controllers so that we could play together. I just think someone should buy me a Game Cube.

My friend informed me that the subway was pretty much shut down in Chicago this past Sunday. May we never mock the homeless again. Not that I did mock the homeless, but I will now pay closer attention to make sure I do not mock them too much.

I just might have come up with a solution to my job problems and my lack of direction in what kind of job I want. I will keep you updated as more decisions are made and I get my life going on the right track.

11-25-01
Ugh...how do I hurt so much. Oh yeah, when I got hit scoring my two touchdowns in Thanksgiving Football.

We almost escaped without any injuries. Unless you count Heide who broke her hand in her second play. Or the time when Eric got nailed in the balls by the football. Or how fucked up Scott's hand is. Maybe when Marc landed on his already broken finger. Yeah, I would say it was a pretty injury free game.

On the day I played football I asked my family to wake me up so that I could get there on time. It ended up being my 2 year old niece who woke me up. She knocked on the door saying "Unc Mike. Unc Mike." When I opened my door she just looked up at me and said, "Wake up." Forcing a response of "I'm up, thank you." from me. She then looked at me and said, "Play?" Which then she sat on my bed and played with her doll. She is the best.

11-21-01
Happy soon holiday everyone. I'm starting to get in the spirit of everything. Halloween passed me bye without feeling anything, but I'm pretty excited about Thanksgiving. It might be that Thanksgiving Football is only a few days away.

I'm glad I have my priorities straight.

I'm starting to get out of my rut. Things around me have been forcing me to change my scowl (which doesn't look all that tough) into a smile. For example, on the bus there was this little kid who was staring at me with his mouth hanging open. He had these big round eyes, and he just kept staring at me. Finally I smiled, the kid then smiled and leaned his head on his mother's arm. So cute.

Well I will be heading home, all of 20 odd miles away, to my parents for a few days. Fun filled excitement. It will be a small substitute for a road trip, but I'll take what I can get. After eating all day I will drink all night (not all night, I have to play football the next day) with friends. Friends and family. How sweet? What a good weekend.

I now have enough money for rent. I'm so happy. It makes my two day work weeks almost seem worthwhile. Until I remember other bills and food haven't really been paid for.

Well, I'm out of here. Enough of my thoughts and random memories. Have a good safe holiday everyone. Sleep well, sleep tight, hug someone special, and rejoice! There really hasn't been enough rejoicing lately. Why just yesterday I sat around thinking, "When was the last time I truly rejoiced?"

I'm not even sure what that means.

11-19-01
The lack of sleep I've been getting on the weekend is killing me...ever so softly. They make my lazy Sundays seem like so much work. Luckily I can spend some time recovering on Monday due to the lack of work floating around me.

The thoughts that are the usual ones, you know, the ones that concern the heart, the job, the lack of focus or the possible aspect of heading to a job that I recently ran away from has been swimming in my mind lately. This might be the cause of the tired in the eyes from staying awake and waking up thinking of these things forcing the issue of non-sleep. Hopefully rest will occur tonight.

As you see from my writing I am quite tired. I was so tired today I almost fell asleep during the Bears game. Welcome 1st Place Chicago Bears!

It's funny because without the threat of work on Monday I find myself doing things that I know are going to tire me out for Sunday. For example, a bunch of my friends and I decided we should drive out to Indiana and try and look at the meteor shower, it was supposed to the best in 30 years or something. All we were able to find was some fog, even thicker fog, and the random closed street forcing us to become very lost in some small town. I enjoyed myself never the less. I've been yearning for a road trip of some sorts, but since my car was going to break I haven't gone on one. I take what I can get.

After the little trip out to Indiana I drove my friends home. At some point the City of Chicago decided to create a large hole and cover it with three or four large metal sheets (usually the city only puts one). My car, without the use of normal shocks, went over it forcing my car to jostle, shake, and throw my rear view mirror at me. I hate it when my rear view mirror breaks off. I feel so blind...

Someone outside my place kept shouting, "You steal from me again I will beat the fuck!"

I hope I don't fall under the category of "the fuck".

I'm going to go to bed and try not to think about the above mentioned things. Tomorrow I will search for a job. Yes indeedido I will.