11-6-01
Pardon the interruption...the page is back and running.

The best thing about this previous weekend (besides the Bears dramatic win and that the Yankees lost) is that my friend who made some homemade salsa gave me the leftovers from the Sunday games. I got me some food!

It is good when you flesh does not fall off of your hands. Meaning...I touched some dry ice and got away with it because it was so dry anymore. Meaning...the dry ice was done being dry and not steaming everywhere when I touched it therefore my flesh did not fall off. I'm so smooth.

Someday when the smart part of my brain tells me something other parts of my brain will listen to that part of the brain, and this will stop the stoopud parts of my brain from making me think stoopud things. Then my brain will accept the 1st part's answer and ignore the other stimulus and suggestions coming from other parts of the body. My body is at war with itself.

I think that the main reason my body may be at war is that the majority of my food I have eaten in the past two days has been chips and homemade salsa. The salsa is good though.

I have work! Someone somewhere must have heard that I did not have any money for December's rent so they have blessed me with some work this week. Nothing as cool as Judge Mathis, but I will be in the John Hancock building doing something that someone will tell me to do. Please do not send any anthrax to that building this week. Thanks.

I was going to put a bunch of great pictures up concerning the Bears comeback this week, but I'm lazy and it wasn't working, so screw it. Just go to any sports page thing and find out how the Bears are amazing...Great catch. It makes the week so much better when they win. (I'm still not sure how I became such a big fan of sports...I really need to stop it.)

Time to sleep and become a productive member to the hurting American economy. Watch out world...I might even have some spending money sometime soon.

...

11-2-01
"Do Not Clog Up The Toilet" This was a sign that was posted right above the toilet at the Judge Mathis show's bathroom. I just felt that most of the public would like to know that Judge Mathis does not fool around with people clogging up his toilets. If you have a big pooper, you better do it some place else.

In case you haven't figured it out, the Chicago court show I appeared in the audience was Judge Mathis. Four weeks from now you have the pleasure of seeing my beautiful face in the audience. Here I got to hear great stories about people who have fallen out of love, even though it only took 2-3 weeks to fall into love, and now are demanding money for their broken hearts for gifts that they gave the bad people. A former prostitute kept saying she was not engaged to this man. Mathis then says, "You like sucking on the pipe while you suck on his pipe?" Mathis...always a bonus to hear this man talk.

Just in case you were wondering, Judge Mathis wears plaid pants under the robe. That man...he has an answer to everything.

So I spent eight hours watching Judge Mathis dish out his judgments...then for some reason I entered my normal funk of the month. You know, that feeling that things are falling apart all around you. I haven't figured this feeling out, but have experienced it on and off in the past few years. I do know that I haven't been doing much. That has started to affect me. Too often I feel like a large load of nothing. A bucket of nothing. (I'm starting to sound like the guys from Kicking and Screaming...damn.) There are no facts or proof to back this feeling up, but than again it is just a feeling and they don't usually have any proof. Like love for instance. How the hell would you try and explain that feeling of love? I have no idea...I wrote in question format for a reason folks. I feel like I fail at so much, but I really don't. I enjoy saying that this is just a chemical imbalance that I get every once in a while. When in doubt, blame it on chemicals. But it goes deeper than that. It's all right. After a few days these feelings will pass, no one will mind, things will go on. That's okay.

And I'm pretty sure Judge Mathis had nothing to do with my mood. So don't go blaming Mathis people. He is out for justice...and TV MAGIC!

Thursday night a cat followed me home. I spent about 1 hour playing with the cat on my deck. I mean, it just followed me home. I made sure it didn't get in the gate, but then it jumps the gate (I'm surprised at how high a cat can jump!). It is a little weird at how cats can tell when a person is a little down. My cats at home (with the parents) would allows jump on my lap or lay on my stomach whenever I would just lay there and think about things. Sometimes cats can be the most amazing beings…most of the other times they are just thinking about where they can poop. I'm fine with them either way.

Thanks Bill.

Good night folks, I'm heading to bed.

11-1-01
Two updates in two days. You people must be special. That is what this page is here for anyway. To make you people feel special.

Well, I didn't get the Civ 3 game after a lot of time spent in Grimmie (my car) with my friend Marc. I drove around all over the place, and since I don't really know Chicago all that well, I only stopped at a few places to find the game. Most people told me that the game was sold out or it hadn't even arrived yet. It was sort of weird. Usually people jump me right away asking if I needed any help, but today not one customer service approached me. I assume it was due to the rage in my eyes. I can look tough if needed.

The reason I'm talking about Civ 3 so much is that I used to play Civ 1. It was during high school and I remember listening to my first cd I ever bought...REM - Automatic For the People when I played the game. I played the game so much that anytime I now hear Automatic for the People a little image of the 2-D game with the characters appearing as little boxes appears in my head, and I'm placed back in the ironing closet where we used to have the computer. Where I would shut the doors, listen to my music, play my game, and sometimes talk to my friends on the phone. A small smile crosses my face...this is due that most of the other memories I have of my life have slipped away...

Not really...but I am forgetful. I mean I still remember the stories of me getting hit in the eye with a metal dart (not jarts folks). Or how I hit a parked car with a bike. Or the time I just fell off my bike losing the use of my legs for a few minutes. Or when we lost control of the car and went through a guys front yard almost just missing a tree by inches. Yeah, I remember most of those.

I also should write about being unemployed. Just when everyone thought that the large beast was going to gobble me up, I end up getting a job. The job consists of me being in the audience of certain Chicago court show. I will be in the crowd for about 11 shows. So if you like court TV shows, look for me in my maroon shirt. I will be sitting next to a ninja-monkey.

10-31-01
Happy Halloween! I wonder if any kids will make it to my apartment. I hope so. I can hand out uncooked pasta and sauce. The kids would love it.

It's here. Civilization 3 comes out today, and I will go buy it. Screw the whole "I have no money or job" thing. I grew up on Civilization 1 and 2, and there is no chance I'm missing it. This will mark the first time I have gone out and purchased a computer game the day it came out. Usually I'm one of those guys who waits till it goes on whammo whomongo sales, and gets it for 1/3 of the price. But not this game.

Unemployment 15, working 2. It has been a tough battle but it looks like unemployment is kicking the idea of working. I've been sitting too much and not accomplishing anything. (I get like that with too much time.) So that is why today I will go out and walk. I don't care where or what I do, but walking will be done. I just might go to look at the leaves. Hopefully the city of Chicago has not started charging for that.

After walking around during the evenings I have decided that meeting in hair salons after they close would be a great place to hold my mobster meetings. There we would watch mob movies, talk about how tough we are, tell Vinnie to shut up, tell Tony to "do that thing". No one ever suspects salons! Man it would be the best.

I lied. I didn't get Civ 3. They were either sold out or did not receive any copies that day. Rats. But while I was driving past Oz Park I saw a four people dressed as the Wizard of Oz characters. That made me smile.

10-29-01
Mike Brown is the smartest man in football.

I went back to my parents house yesterday, forcing myself to watch the Bears game with my parents and not with my yelling friends. There I was able to yell with my 2 year old niece. I would yell "BEARS!" She yelled "BEARS!" I would do the Urlacher yell, "ARRRGGGGHHH!!" She yelled "ARRRGGGHHH!!" We get along great. She then proceeded to put a banana in my shirt pocket.

To prove to everyone how cool I am, we have two tvs set up in our family room. One tv is there to watch football, the other is there to play video games while we watch football. During this time we ended up playing Risk. I can't believe how cool I am!?

Just a side note, I haven't won in Risk for many many months. I think I'm due. The damn \ Union of the Snake keeps biting at my heels and winning.

I ate some large pizza yesterday. I still feel bloated.

10-22-01
Somedays I feel like this.

Well, the job search continues...or starts...or something like that. It don't matter. I got me a credit card...damn me and the purchase of cds.

A friend of mine has a book called My New Fighting Technique is Unstoppable. I finally found a website about it. I suggest all to check it out. It almost made me cry.

That is all. Continue with your business.