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Are You Ready For Some Football
Why I Should Not Be A Coach On A NFL Team

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who am i? where am i? what am i doing?

a small man named mike saul created this web page to fill time. he is 23 and growing tired of things, but hope exists in his life, even if it is only a small cup hanging from his key chain. he can be found in Chicago wondering around. It is what he does.

other things i do but only rarely
thinking about hesterman

wasting time
amplfied
girls, cars & surfing
heysuburbia
i woke up in a strange place
kempa
k-rad
mcsweeney's
the morning news
oswald.nu
robot frank
rockout
same day different rat
scrubbles
wombatcombat

art
calvin and hobbes
diesel sweeties
doonesbury
exploding dog
friendbear
penny arcade
when I am king

things
alternet
bbc news
comics continuum
early warning
eatonweb portal
the onion
pitchfork
skinny guy
weepmag
what jail is like


new websites
little red monkey


5 Reasons
to stay unemployed
1. More Sleep.
2. My soul is so small already.
3. Having nothing to do but still doing things...I still don't get it but I love it.
4. Look at outside, I don't care if it is raining.
5. More practice for flying.



created by me in 2001


10-05-01
Who the hell are you? I don't really remember you. Please. Don't kid around. Nobody really remembers you. Wait...you are my what? How the hell did you get here? Oh, my job wasn't that bad. It was? It made you hurt and cry. The pain you felt was unhuman? You didn't know who I was after I worked? Each day stole a little more of you away from me. You know you were one of the most important aspects of my life. Now the first few weeks weren't that bad. Really they weren't. I was busy. The hours and days went by pretty quickly. I made some money. I'm out of debt. Isn't that worth at least a little bit for you? A tincy tiny little bit? No, not really. I know. Well, I'm changing. I'm a better man now. I'm going to try and keep you with me from now on.

That was The Intimate Moment When I Met My Soul Again After I Quit My Job! Next year on Fox 8:00 PM.

If you have been reading my web page for a while you will come to realize that a running theme has been how my job sucks the soul from me each and every day. But not anymore. Today was the last day my soul will hurt when I show up at work, and trust me, I'm smiling all the way. One of my friends suggested I urinate all over the walls as I walk out after I quit, but doing that may mean it is my territory, and I want no part of this evil work place. Many co-workers have told me that they are so happy for me that I get to leave here. They tell me that I made a good decision for quitting, even when I have no job lined up after here. I'm compelled to agree with them. Today I get to have my soul back in full force so rejoice with me. Smile with me and my soul. Dance a little jig, don't worry my soul will lead. And drink with me and my soul tomorrow night (sat folks). My soul can totally drink you under the table.

I'm still not quite sure why but when people meet me and start to really get to know me, they worry about me. Close friends tell me that all the time One of my ex-co-workers mentioned to me that she worries about me. She has only really talked to me for a little while, but she already worries about me. Why is that? Her reasoning was that she felt that I'm such a nice guy, which I think is a lie (I'm not nice. I'm just not an ass. But don't forget all guys are jerks. I just may be a little less jerky than a few others), and worries that I might not find a girlfriend. People, please. Everything is fine, even on an upswing.

Last year I broke my ankle. I was playing football. Come Sunday I will be playing football for the first time since the injury. We (or at least I) will be taking it easy. I have to prepare for the upcoming 3rd Annual Thanksgiving Football. I had to miss all of last season due to my injury. So prepare to be dominated!

Today is the last day for work for me (hopefully a job will come around in the near future). But that is not the only thing. Today is also the last day I will be writing from this one computer since my new computer came in the mail. A second rejoice. This is also the last time I will be writing from this house because I'm moving tomorrow. No one can quite understand the sense of feelings rolling around in my tummy making funny noises (one would think it is gas but I know the truth), but in reality it is the feeling that I have finally begun my life. Think party sometime in the near future. Watch out world here I come. With my soul intact. Imagine that.

Just so you know we may not have internet connection for a few days. So it may be a few days till you see me again sitting here, typing away, trying to explain my life to you people. But again, my soul is tough, and tired. So I'm going to take a nap.

10-02-01
My soul was dealt another blow yesterday. When I showed up for work and couldn't log in to my computer. I guess they wanted to get rid of me as soon as possible and deleted my login from all their computers a week early. Now, all this means is I can't do any work, but I'm still getting paid. Your plan backfired. All you got was a little piece of my soul.

Which is fine because sometimes my soul feels really small.

I'm always talking about ways my soul gets smaller. I never talk about the times when my soul is big and tough. Like King Kong. Just last Sunday my soul felt really happy. We just finished gorging ourselves while we watched football and a couple of my friends and I went out to toss the frisbee around. While I was waiting for my turn to catch the frisbee I just looked out at my friends in the middle of the park and a smile crossed my face. I was truly happy at that time. It created a sense of this is what life could really be about. Hell, my life even started to make some sense to me. And that never happens. So what if I didn't have any career plans. I'm happy and surviving. For right now that is just fine.

A side note I forgot to mention for a few weeks. One Friday night around 7:00 PM I stopped on the channel UPN. They had this hilarious show called Manhunt. In the show 12-15 people choose to be placed on an island and run around while 3 ex-American Gladiators run after them and shoot them with paint guns. The best part is the leader of the American Gladiators has a short mohawk and kept saying things like, "You are mine!", "You are not in a happy place now. This is hell!", or "You thought you were tough, but you were not as tough as me!" and would proceed to flex his muscles. I don't know how any of the participants didn't start laughing in his face when he was doing these things. Or at least kick him in the balls.

They fixed my login...that is why I'm busy at work writing this entry.

If you are a regular reader of Hesterman you will know thatI got screwed over trying to get tickets to some shows. That is why I've kept this quiet. I'll be attempting to see God Speed You Black Emperor tonight at 11:00 PM. This should make for a very entertaining Wednesday due to the fact 3--4 maximum hours of sleep are in store for me.

Fantasy Football Notice...If you don't like football, or if your tired of hearing me talk about football, don't read this next paragraph. The Fantasy Page has been updated. I finally won a game. I scored about as many points in one week as I did in the previous two. Kick Ass! We also thought that the two juggernauts of Samir and Kevin were going to fall and the little people could rejoice. That is why we watched Monday night so closely. Instead both of them still have winning records. Those bastards.

9-29-01
I helped Kevin, a friend, move today. I made ice cubes in his empty refrigerator. I thought it might help him feel more at home.

Kevin then treated me to some Burger King. My stomach is now eating me as revenge due to eating a whopper.

9-27-01
I have Nintendo Thumb...

Who Wants To Be A Princess was so good Fox had to show it twice.

9-25-01
When I went to bed last night I decided that I was going to call in sick. The only problem with that is I am sick.

That's okay, only 8 more days of staring into a computer trying to figure out why I'm in pain at the office.

It feels like somebody punched me in the eye, but only enough to cause pain and leave no mark. If somebody is punching me in the eye at night when I am sleeping I would prefer it if you stopped.

I think my brother is growing weed in my mother's garden.

I just bought a computer...I should have been working...

The Fantasy Football page has been updated. For those of you who didn't know if Marc was going to pull out a win or not.

9-24-01
Bear down, Chicago Bears!

I lost my voice due to the yelling of joy during the Bears game (they won). My throat hurts. But that is okay.

I haven't checked, but I might have won a game in my football fantasy league. All it took was for my opponent's quarterback and one running back to be injured. You can say it. I'm smooth. I've got skills.

9 days and counting...my soul will return in complete and happy fashion as I leave my job... smiles are on me.

I might be sick soon...

I did go to the doctor since my valuable health insurance is quickly running out (good-bye in Dec. sniffle sniffle). For the last few weeks my ear has been bothering me. It feels like something was logged in there. I suspect that Quinn put a rock or bottle cap in my ear, but I couldn't be sure. The doctor confirmed that something was in my ear (I started to think about the story of my brother putting a rock up his nose when he was young and how we rushed over to the hospital so that they could remove it). The nurse proceeded to squirt water in my ear to force whatever was in my ear out. (Now I started to think about that one scene in Star Trek 2 where they have those bugs that crawl into your ear and take control of you. When I was a kid that scene used to freak me out, but I don't know if it was due to the villain with his crazy white mullet or the fact that I don't like Star Trek). Well, my ear is fine now, besides some scarring on my ear drum, which surprised me because I thought I had pristine ear drums. As an added bonus she said I have small tonsils.

Isn't there a saying involving small tonsils...

The previous week held many birthdays. Somehow when I bought NFL2K2 for my friend, I ended up purchasing one for myself. It's Thinking...it's also sucking away my free time.

Scratch that. I am sick. I told the doctors today...why didn't they find anything. Stoopud medicine.

And a double scratch that. I didn't win the fantasy football game.







here we go again





because everyone needs a hug every once in a while.