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Friday, September 26, 2008

and credits...

I stole some lines from my frequent interlocutors Marc Heiden and Reina Hardy in the preceding blog post.

If He Dies He Dies: Obama-McCain 1

I have come out of retirement to "live-blog" tonight's Obama-McCain debate. Because everybody's doing it and I am nothing if not suceptible to peer pressure.

I expect "straight talk" from American hero Senator McCain and twisty, loopy exotic Elijah Muhammad type talk from the radical Baraacka X.

Both candidates are invoking the cliche of Wall Street vs. Main Street. There is a wild disparity Why are these streets at war? And can it be resolved by a dance off of some kind?

Barack is presently talking about the bankruptcy of a philosophy that says regulation is always bad. People say Barack isn't ideological but he totally is. He's just really subtle about it. That's nothing less than a frontal assault on the underpinnings of the right wing economic philosophy. I wish he did it more. The whole conservative philosophy of government doing absolutely nothing is so ridiculously easy to turn on its head and sping really negatively but it's never done.

McCain says we need to cut spending. Shocking.

Seriously what the fuck does the current financial sector meltdown have to do with government spending? I'm sure a little but not that much.

McCain just absolute blew a fairly hilarious joke about bears.

Second election in a row the Democrats have nominated the guy with the most liberal record in the Senate.

I think McCain just advocated the elimination of the Post Office. And NASA. And the FDA. And well, most things. And Jim Lehrer's day job at PBS!

This is the second time McCain has declared himself "not Miss Congeniality in the Senate" And the first time he's declared himself a maverick!

DEMOCRATS WANT TO RAISE YOUR TAXES! WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO WAKE UP, AMERICANS WHOSE TAXES ARE GOING TO BE RAISED!

There are at least a hundred of you! Are you to passed out from your nightly cocaine orgies to notice what's happening outside your mansions? A mob is gathering, people!

David Petraus: Greatest American general since Eisenhower! Or at least Westmoreland.

And a magnificent attack from the gentleman from Illinois parried with a smirk and a boring lecture on "tactics" vs. "strategy" from the gentleman from Arizona. America doesn't like to be corrected on its word usage you damn dictionary elitist!

David Petraeus is George Washington, Ulysses S. Grant, Clint Eastwood and Mother Theresa all rolled into one. He can turn enemy combatants into delicious chocolate with the power of his mind.

Epic bitchslap on the bomb Iran song.

McCain has made clear his opposition to a second Holocaust. As a Democrat, I support it.

McCain unleashes thousand mile smirks every time Barack throws an effective punch, which is every 30 seconds.

Barack's wavered slightly on the "preconditions" vs. "preparations" language. Smart people get it but the smart people's votes are not in contention.

On a serious note, bipartisan support for shoehorning Eastern Europe into NATO is insane. But I can be a stickler about intercontinental military alliances.

Also, fuck Georgia!

It sucks that Jim Lehrer did the sycophantic thing and asked McCain the 9/11 question first. It would have been awesome and counterintuitive if he'd asked Barack first.

McCain is doing a brilliant job rebutting Obama's oft repeated, explicit statement "I want America to fail in Iraq."

And the veterans love Big Brother.

Father McCain knows what to do if you only *believe*...

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