Monday, June 5, 2006

What I really think about Benny Hill

Dear Prospective Future Employers...

Every now and then, I find myself writing something highly questionable on this website and it then the whole phenomenon of corporate HR Departments googling people, seeing silly things by and about them on the Internet and then denying them jobs. We'll call the aforementioned phenomenon "The Walking Nipple Effect". While I think this is Orwellian bullshit, I would like to be hired for a job again someday, because a man's gots to pay the bills, so I humbly address this to you, Mr. and Ms. Corporate Overlord: I think of this website, not as a journal of mundane events or "blog" (more like blahg! Ha!) but rather as a continuous, ongoing literary work. A literary work that aims to explore the full range of the human experience, including the darker places. So when I write something in which I tell the reader I "hate" him/her and would like to see warm, red blood gushing down his/her chin, it's to be understood that I don't mean that literally. It's a fleeting expression of a bad mood and a usage of very dark humor.

"Harumph." you may say. "Well I don't see anything funny about the idea of warm, red blood gushing down someone's chin."

Well I don't see anything funny about Benny Hill but that doesn't mean I wouldn't give him a job.

Actually I wouldn't. But not because he wasn't funny. Because he'd spend all his time running around trying to pull women's dresses off. And that would be inappropriate for the workplace.

Come to think of it, Benny Hill is Hilarious!

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