I think I'm fairly similar to Martin Luther King Jr. in that we were both born in January.
Like most Americans, I spent his day in quiet, reverent contemplation of his life and work. That's not entirely true but I read some articles about him and watched a documentary. People from my hometown threw rocks at his head. That's a pretty infuriating thing to read about. I was thinking how a lot of those people were very young at the time and their probably walking around this city (well they probably mostly moved to the suburbs) and I would like to throw rocks at their heads. This is not what the man himself would have wanted but bugger nonviolence, I think it would make me feel good.
Not really.
Best Chicago related thing this week: Shedd Aquarium. I've got this whole plan to liberate sea otters from captivity now. My plans are rarely pragmatic but always visionary.
My birthday was this past Wednesday, I got some really great phone calls from well wishing folk. But some people who called me last year failed to call me this year, an unacceptable decline in standards. And yeah, I *know* I didn't call you on your birthday and it's only a week before mine, but two wrongs don't make a right. So I say this with a heavy but determined heart: Eamon Johnson, you're on notice.
I'm stocking up on both Wendy's and DQ just in case.
I think you heard wrong. They were actually talking about me.
Actually, I heard they were more fond of DQ Blizzards with Heath Bar pieces... the toffee helps keep their teeth from growing too long.
I'll give you my email, but only if you promise to send me lots of messages on how to add significant spicery to my aliveness so I can secretly hook up with girls in my arena. As for Saturday, I'll be there with bells on. Unless the bells will scare the otters.
Rob: Thou art a scholar! Besides, as long as you have good intentions, I'm sure you can take care of anything.
I'm pretty sure the otter's natural habitat is a bathtub (preferably with bubbles) and they eat Wendy's Frostys. I saw it on the Discovery Channel.
Make sure you read up on what otters like to eat and stuff before you liberate them... Nothing would be worse than liberating them and killing them in the process...
Yeah, my bathtub, maybe a friend's. Otter liberation didn't become an active goal until it turned out my friend Rob's money was stolen by his bank because they think he's a terrorist and we need to raise funds by having an exotic otter show...It's all very complicated. We're going to wear ninja outfits. By the way, I'm having another party Saturday, I haven't told you about it because I don't have your e-mail, but I'm telling you now.
I would like to offer a belated birthday present of helping you liberate the otters, but only if you promise to give them a happy home in your bathtub.
