Jesus Freaking Lizard there was huge freaking thunderstorm this morning! It was really loud! I don’t know why this is so noteworthy! I’ve seen many a huge thunderstorm in my days but I guess it’s just been awhile. I like thunderstorms. They are cool and I’ve missed them. I read the classic sci-fi novel "Lord of Light" recently, and there's a great line in there: "The storm never lies, and it always says no! That's an absolutely brilliant line. I don't know what it means. I’m on the record about the fact that I dislike my roommate Reina, she is a supremely vexing woman and thought so long before I signed a lease with her, which I did purely as a business arrangement. Also, she is a dumb girl and has cooties. Nonetheless, I do find her fun to talk to and I (having never had a roommate before) have discovered that living with someone you really like to talk to is a very good thing but has the disadvantage of distracting you when you have a play to rewrite and things like that. I shouldn’t blame her, however, I should blame the fact that I got my cable fixed, which now allows me to stay up past midnight watching John Stewart. Oh, how I’ve missed you, old friend. Many testimonials to your genius have been made over the last few years, but my favorite was that of my good old raging racist uncle Gerald: “This is supposed to be funny? He’s just a smartass Jew.” Indeed, sir, indeed. And CNN! Now I can get the 24 hour coverage I need on the details surrounding murdered children! I guess a couple of young girls were killed in Zion, IL recently. As usual, the hype was that there was some scary, evil predator on the loose. I actually heard some woman say “stranger danger” (one of the most inane and subtly pernicious phrases we’ve ever taught to children) with a straight face. But lo, it turned out, as it does in like 90% of crimes against children, to have been not some anonymous, scary instantly demonizable pervert but a close relative. Family values yo. When I was fifteen, I went camping in Zion. I slept in a tent with three girls. That was awesome. I had a chocolate milkshake from the Zephyr, a great ice cream parlor/diner near my apartment the other night. It filled my bloodstream...mmm…milkshake blood…
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