Monday, July 12, 2004

shuffle

So my man Barack has been running unopposed for a couple of weeks now. Now the big, hillarious rumor is that the Republicans are going to get Mike Ditka to run. I'd consider this awesome if I wasn't genuinely fearful that enough Chicagoans would say to themselves "I was gonna vote for the guy with the weird name but the '85 Bears ROCKED!" The Arnold/Jesse Ventura precedents are scary. But those guys actually speak English much better than Ditka.

Da Senator.

A friend forwarded me the text of a brilliant anti-John Edwards ad: John Edwards Has “Never Done Any Serious Farming.”

"John Edwards Doesn’t Follow Weekly NASCAR Races, Adds He “Doesn’t Follow Anything Except Politicking.” "John Edwards Hasn’t Hunted Or Fished “In Years.” "John Edwards Has “In The Past Been A Country Music Fan.” (Tim Funk, “Q&A With John Edwards,” The Charlotte Observer, 5/26/03) "John Edwards Can’t Even Remember Make Or Model Of His Own Truck..."

Will they play the theme from Dukes of Hazzard in the background. As my friend said, "I don't think he reads Kurt Vonnegut or listens to indie rock either, but I'm still voting for him to be Vice-President."

I'll tell ya one thing, Big Dick CHENEY sure as hell follows NASCAR.

Edwards is a lot of fun but part of me wishes John Kerry had chosen Bob Kerrey as his running mate. What lovely symmetry. Kerry's a liberal Democratic Senator who fought in Vietnam...And so's Kerrey!

Okay so it's just me then.

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